Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Why I don’t like people: 1% logical reasons. 99% just because.
Wine is just grapes for procrastinators.
If its so great outside why do bugs try to get in my f*cking house?
By the power vested in me and by this case of beer, I now pronounce these three loads of laundry as one.
Few things are creepier than someone saying "I know" after you introduce yourself.
Forecast for tonight: Dark.
Apparently people will pay to be subjected to medieval torture devices if you call the place a "gym."
To find out your dolphin name, lick your finger tips and rub a balloon
My decision making skills closely resemble that of a squirrel when crossing the street.
Your silent treatment should be accompanied by a disappearing act.
It`s no fun having nothing to do, fun is having a lot to do and doing nothing.
Just found my TV remote and a newspaper in my fridge. It`s pretty awesome that society lets me live by myself.
Call me old school, but I think your shorts should be longer than your private parts.
Ask.com is useless............they have no idea where I put my car keys either
People ask me why I don`t have tattoos. Seriously, would you put a bumper sticker on a Lambourghini?