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Everyone has that one friend that can turn any conversation into something dirty....I am usually that friend.
It`s weird how in England the passenger drives the car
Someone needs to take a chain saw to your family tree.
Some days the problem is I care too much... Today was not one of those days...
The hardest part about going through a divorce is finding a hitman you can trust.
What do bats eat that makes their sh!t our standard for crazy?
Lately I`ve been convinced that some people were born solely for purpose of eventually pissing me off...
The reason dogs look confused when you open the refrigerator door is because they`re thinking "Why don`t you just eat ALL the food?"
I like to punish people who ask me how I`m doing by giving them a detailed description of how I am doing.
You know you are desperate for an answer when you look at the second page of Google.
am I the only one who would beat the sh!t out of someone for wearing a "forever lazy" to a tailgate?
Missed connection: you were washing your car in a bathing suit. I rode past your house 78 times. You threw a rock at me.
Really, 6 more inches of snow today. My front yard is getting more action than me.
The plural of beer is beer, which is very convenient when you are explaining to your wife why you were late coming home from work.
You shouldn`t be allowed to wear animal print if you are bigger than said animal.