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Some days are just not meant to be productive.
I just leased a 2013 lamborghini, no payments till January. Those f@kin Mayans better be right.
That awkward moment when you make a Harry Potter reference and none of your Muggle friends get it.
I´m pretty sure I had a good time last night. Let me finish reading the police report and I´ll let you know.
I look forward to paying off all my debt and finally getting back to just being broke.
Childless people wondering what it`s like to have some kiddos? Make a lovely healthy breakfast. Take it and throw it all over the floor.
Gimmie a P. Gimmie an R. Gimmie an O. Gimmie a C. Gimmie an R. Gimmie an A. Gimmie an S. Gimmie a....oh, nevermind. I`ll finish this later.
anyone celebrating anything today? Anything at all... doesn`t matter what. I just need something to drink to.
Today, I`m really gonna give it my nothing
Face down, a$$ up ... that`s the way I tie my shoes.
Girls with tattoos on your tits, Why? We`re already looking at them.
When I asked if you had protection, pepper spray isn’t what I meant.
My life is a constant battle of preventing my muffin top from becoming a pound cake.
Another funny thing about this status is when you finally realize that it talks about nothing? its all ready too late to stop reading. lol
I was discussing with my friend about the popular trends on sex, marriage and values. He says to me, "I didn’t sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?" I replied. "I’m not sure, what was her maiden name?"