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The block button is just the adult version of sticking your fingers in your ears and repeating "I can`t hear you" over and over
I only drank twice last week....Once for three days and once for four days
Three weeks without a signal typo!
Just noticed there`s no comma in "Bed Bath & Beyond" and honestly, a bed bath would solve a lot of my problems.
People – the most gentle, loving, kind, sympathetic, peaceful and caring creatures in the world. Especially when they need something from you.
1,000 Ways To Die is so unrealistic. There`s no episode where a man asks a woman `what`s wrong?`
There’s always that last setting on your windshield wipers that makes you go “damn, calm the f*ck down!”
I found a dollar in my bed this morning... Following my excitement was a flash of panic as I checked all my teeth
I was being taught to use some machinery today, and I was quizzed as to the rules of it`s use. When asked what the first rule is I responded, "You do not talk about Fight Club."
Do you think when Spider-Man gets stoned with Batman and the Hulk he sometimes thinks the spider on his chest is real and freaks out?
Don`t you just want to write on some people`s Facebook wall "you peaked in High School".?
So Stevie Wonder is going to become father to triplets next year. I guess he didn`t see that coming...
In the interest of improving the workplace, my company has put up signs that say: CAUTION. OPEN DOORS SLOWLY ... My best time so far is 7 min.
Nobody looks back at their life and remembers the nights they got plenty of sleep.
A new study has found that men have a hard time reading women`s facial expressions. Main reason? They usually aren`t looking at her face.