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My method of going "offline" in FB chat is to simply ignore you.
Me- We need eggs. Hub- How many? Me- One. See if they will sell you just one.
Why does everybody call it a "hot water heater?" It`s really a cold water heater.
When you get angry at someone count out loud to ten. When you get to eight, throw a punch. Nobody expects that sh!t.
I`ve seen more pins in the last few days then stone cold steve austin on groundhog day..
Why is it when you run into a spider web, you suddenly turn into a ninja?
Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but doesn’t get you anywhere.
This status could be yours for 3 easy payment of $8.99, get in quick because this offer won`t last for long, infact there are only 5 left.
everyone is BEAUTIFUL in there own way--your just to UGLY to see that
Your baby has no idea that you threw him a 1st birthday party. All you did was inconvenience your friends.
I try to always be the bigger person by hanging out with a lot of short people.
I like to think that people that unfriend me wake up months later regretting that irreversible and life altering decision.
Its almost that time again! That`s right, its holiday season! Merry Black Friday sales, and happy spending!
It`s kind of funny how as you get older, you start enjoying things that you hated as a kid, like taking naps and getting spanked.
Backseat drivers are the worst. They`re always like "the light is red!" and "don`t text and drive!" and "oh god, I think that was a person!"