Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I laid awake all night again worrying about why I’m always so tired.
When people tell me "you`re going to regret that in the morning" I sleep in until noon because I`m a problem solver
people live & people die, but in the the end we still get high.. so if in life you dont succeed, F*CK it All & smoke some WEED ?
I see your arguement contains a lot of swear words, you must really know what you`re talking about
What happens in Vegas never happens to me
I really like my new electric toothbrush, even though sometimes, I still break out the acoustic.
I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like "Dude, you have to wait."
I don`t mind being wrong, as long as nobody knows.
If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.
Im not fat IΒ΄m just easier to see
To Do List: 1: Buy a knife 2: Call it kindness 3: Kill people with Kindness
Some people live life in the fast lane. You’re in oncoming traffic.
I use my imagination to solve problems. And by imagination, I mean booze.
All cookies are "bite size" if you believe in yourself enough.
I`ve always wondered is jellyfish are sad because there are no peanut butter fish.