Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Summer is here. I`m in the process of moving all my bad habits outside.
Dear shaving commercials, stop shaving hairless legs. If you want impress us, please shave a gorilla.
For the first time in my years of working I have been hard at work all day......dammm those pills!!!!
Facebook is serious. I put more thought into whether or not to accept a friend request than whether or not to sleep with someone.
Think about what last call would look like if Walmart had a bar
Can I have a free unlimited day trial of being attractive?
Alcohol increases the Send Button size by 89%.
Remember this when you are drunk: You can`t fall off the floor.
I have a kid in Africa I inoculate, feed, clothe and send to school for only $1 day. It cost a lot to send him over there though.
If I owned a copy store I would only hire identical twins.
Life in the fast lane ? Heck, I live in oncoming traffic.
Sex Ed should require them to listen to a crying baby for 5 hours, and to watch the same episode of a cartoon over and over again.
Then there was the ex-cop who started his own landscaping business. He called it Lawn Order.
Remember when you were a kid and all you would use the computer for was paint and space pinball?
I eat my gummy bears 2 at a time ..no one should die alone