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I really would love to see two mimes arguing.
Laxatives............for people who don`t give a crap.
Tomorrow the world shall be ours! Until then, good night my evil minions!!
Looking back.. I think I preferred you when I didn`t know you...
My favorite flavor of ice cream is yes.
Mosquito landed on my friend`s face; easiest decision of my life.
Video games don`t encourage violence nearly as much as piñatas do.
May the bridges I burn light the way.
Deja poo. The feeling that you`ve heard this sh!t before.
I said "sad face emoji" instead of actually frowning today if you want to know how out of touch with reality I am.
When people I don’t know ask me what I do for a living I shout “Karma,” and punch them before running away.
I wish I could smack the stupid out of people. And if you think this status is about you ... Smack yourself for me!
Just because I’m smiling, doesn’t mean I don’t want to hit you in the face.
new years resolution #1: stop losing the powerball
I`m gonna just take a quick nap before I go to bed.