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"Oh Sh!t, Was That Today?" my autobiography
I`ve actually have come to the conclusion that some of today`s youth may actually believe "laughing out loud" is actually spelled "lol"
Guinness for breakfast because its Ireland somewhere.
It doesn`t matter how old you are, If you hear the ice cream truck jingle you jump out the window for that sh!t.
People are always much more interesting before you get to know them.
Remember, laughter is the best medicine. Unless you have diarrea.
When it comes to tantrums, I throw like a girl.
Was at an Apple store today when I let out a really loud fart. Boy, the employee`s were so mad. Hey, Not my fault they don`t have windows!
My girlfriend called me lazy the other day. I almost responded.
Of all the lies I`ve told in my life, "Just kidding" is my favorite.
Why do we only crave what`s bad for us? Alcohol, deep fried food, cake... You never hear anyone say "I`d kill for some salad."
When I`m in a good mood I act like I`m I`m in a bad mood so nobody approaches me and ruins my good mood.
I like when people call me "Sir". I just wish they wouldn`t follow it up with "you`re making a scene."
Well, just 8 more hours of Facebook and I can go back to bed. *phew*
My sleep number is 24. That`s a case of beer and I sleep like a baby.