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Sometimes you run into people who change your life forever ... Bartenders, they are called bartenders.
Always look for the girl with the ponytail holder on her wrist.
I consider my body less of a temple and more of a ruin.
In my experience, most arguments are caused by a misunderstanding of the fact that I`m right.
My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I`m pretty sure she was hitting on me.
Just when I think my confidence couldn`t be shakier, some shitty website tells me I have a "Weak Password"
Hillybilly Word Of The Day.."Twerk"..."Welp, I`m done with lunch so I`d better get back twerk!"
Its sad that we live in a world that puts words into the dictionary if enough stupid people use it.
I put the hot in psychotic.
I have discovered that theirs no popcorn in popcorn chicken. I guess there`s no point in bothering with hash browns then.
I swear my toddler yells at me in Vietnamese
Fun Game: Walk down a hallway with both arms outstretched to the walls while shouting, "Hug me or turn around!!!"
If at first you don’t succeed, look in the trash for the instructions
Kids maybe a gift..... But I like playing with the box it came in.
Probably a good thing I`m not a ghost cause I`d just stay in the kitchen and scare people then eat all their food.