Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes you run into people who change your life forever ... Bartenders, they are called bartenders.
I’ve come to the realization that the trash goes out more than I do.
A fun way to give your man a little scare is to ask him, "Do you know what tomorrow is?" and watch the panic set in.
Guess what I saw today? ... Everything I looked at.
Was disappointed when I watched the films Shaft, XXX, X-Men, In To Deep, Snatch, The Box, Free Willy. None of them were what I expected...
That awkward moment when a homeless person walks up to you at a Coinstar machine.
I`m fat, but I blame my dog for not exercising me enough.
How does Ice-T order an Iced Tea without sounding like a douche?
How many people actually tell everyone that you said Hi.
I wish I could commute by roller coaster.
I just want to be perfect... Nah just kidding, I love being weird
Asking me if I’m hungry, is like asking me if I like money.
I keep an identical glass of vodka next to the water on my bedside table for a refreshing morning game of Russian Roulette
If you are the one who stole my computer yesterday, please disregard the folder labeled, "Nature photographs." Thanks.
Browsing the internet when bored is like the virtual version of checking the refrigerator...