Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Stay positive ladies, maybe he just didn`t hear you the first 100 times.
Sorry I`m late... I accidentally pulled the chain on the ceiling fan one too many times for like 9 hours straight.
Eventually, some poor astronaut is going to crash into all that Star Wars writing
How the hell can Dora call herself an explorer if she only goes to places already on the map?
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
MY 8 YEAR OLD: "Walrus testicles are called walnuts."
Holidays are a lot of fun until you realize you`ve been dating the ugly sister
Never underestimate a woman’s ability to make anything your fault.
I’m pretty sure I could start a new life with only the crap in my car.
I’m sorry for what I said when I was hungry.
I only support ghost hunting if you need the ghost for food.
I really don`t know what the big deal is about Black Friday. I black out every Friday....
Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
Abstinence makes the arm grow stronger ... at least one of them anyway.
I wonder if my neighbors are more tired of hearing my dog bark or me screaming at it to shut the f*ck up.