Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Shhh...you had me at "alcohol may intensify effect..."
The most terrifying thing a woman can say to me is "notice anything different?"
people live & people die, but in the the end we still get high.. so if in life you dont succeed, F*CK it All & smoke some WEED ?
Friends are like snowflakes.... if you pee on them they disappear.
Why is it called "reading a book" and not paper view?
Girlfriend: You`re acting like a little kid. Me: What do mean, little kids can`t drink.
Is it wrong to use cheat codes for Wii Fit.
hey single people..tomorrow is officially `rebound day` after all the ridiculously high romantic expectations end in `epic fail`
"Don`t try this at home"...Okay, i`ll try it at my friend`s house..
Some days, the supply of available curse words is insufficient to meet my demands.
Remind me why I work 40 hours a week to be this poor?
No thank you, I don`t need a coaster. I won`t be putting my drink down.
Probably the worst thing you can do to a person is leave them a voicemail.
I may not be the only egomaniac around here, but Iām the only one that matters.
Redneck`s famous last words: "Is that enough duck tape?"