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That horrible feeling you get when you`re not asleep anymore.
Most problems can be solved with nudity
Remember when phones were stupid and people were smart?
If advertisers were smart, they`d make a silent, slow-motion commercial that runs at normal speed when you fast forward through it on a DVR.
True love doesn`t care about the look or size of your wallet, it`s all about what`s inside ..... the wallet.
Selfie... Because it`s important to realize that it`s not the photographer who is making you look ugly.
Thank God you`ve updated your status to "Finished lunch" after you first posted "Going to lunch" I really couldn`t tolerate more suspense.
Guess what I saw today ... Everything I looked at. ;)
Roses are red, violets are blue, If your parents told you you`re beautiful, they`re lyin to you..:D
Here`s hoping the wind at your back doesn`t come from the corned beef and cabbage you had for lunch. Happy St. Patrick`s Day!
If you feel bad because you didn’t do well on a final, just remember someone from your hometown is still trying to become a rapper.
Relatives comin` ~ hide all awesome stuff!
I inherited my dad`s sense of humor. He`s not funny either.
I`ve had this ant farm for a year now and these lazy bastards still haven`t grown any crops.
Seriously, it’s almost 2014, can we please get some waterproof phones? I would like to text in the shower.