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Sometimes all you need, is 500 million dollars.
Home is where you can say anything you want, because nobody listens to you anyway.
spank me, its the only way i`ll learn.
I`m working out my budget and, provided I don`t live past Tuesday, I can retire relatively comfortably!!!
whoo hoo...I have new gutters. Please try and keep your mind out of them.
"Something`s wrong. He`s never walked this far before."- what my shoes would say if you walked a mile in them.
My anaconda really doesn`t care if you got buns or not.
Abaaabbbbaaabbbaabbbaabb..... Long time no ` C ` ; P
The guy who invented the Time Machine has just died.... RIP DAVE JONES 2187-2014
Goodnight, good people - and nite nite to the naughty ones too!
You know you`re all grown up when you actually pick up the ice cube instead of kick it under the fridge.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
Facebook: Cause why drunk dial one person when you can drunk post the world?
Don´t you just hate it when people say stuff in their status that you really didn´t want to know? I hate that. Anyway, I gotta go poop.
When I`m CEO of Subway, employees will no longer be called "sandwich artists." They will be "sub humans."