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"There`s nothing sexier than a chick that knows how to work on cars" -Dudes, trying to get us to do that job too.
I`m afraid to hug fat girls....what if they`re hungry?
I failed the emergency broadcast test. My apologies to all the employees I shoved to the ground while screaming
If pigs could fly.. Would I be able to get high on bacon?
Jack The Ripper would be a great name for a fitness trainer.
It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.
Whoever said you can`t "like" your own status is just not awesome enough to do it.
U still drunk from last night or did u get a new buzz going this morning.
A word to the wise ain`t necessary - it`s the stupid ones that need the advice!
Actually according to chemists, alcohol IS a solution…
50 Shades of Laze - My weekend plans
Noise cancelling toilets should be a thing.
who`s smart idea wus it to name a monkey Donkey Kong??
Really, 6 more inches of snow today. My front yard is getting more action than me.
When you are on a first date and she says to you: "I want you to treat me like a movie star," it is vitally important to establish which type of movie