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If your Facebook post requires me to hit “continue…” get a diary.
Big shout out to all the spiders not building their webs at face level.
Beer and a 44 magnum with an everclear shot makes everything good like Nintendo
I support recycling, I wore this shirt yesterday.
If you put root beer in a square cup, do you get beer?……………………. (you smart people grinned didn’t you.)
If ignorance really was bliss we`d have a lot more really happy people around here.
I`m "keeps a pair of underwear in the glove box because I don`t trust my farts anymore" years old.
Somehow, going into The Dollar Store and asking for a price check just never gets old.
Never give up on your dreams, keep sleeping.
Please respect the revolving door speed that has already been established.
Why would I pay someone to scare me at a haunted house when I could just open a can of biscuits at home?
The bottle of Pepto Bismol say’s 4 out of every 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one of them enjoys it?
The best part about going to Wal-Mart is having the book aisles all to yourself.
Hope you get down and funky on this the day of your birth!!
I`m so bitchy right now ... I won`t even talk to myself!!