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I hear Internet Explorer 10 is going to allow you to download and install Firefox up to three times faster.
One trenta cheeseburger please.
I`m at my neighbor`s house having a delicious dinner. Hope I finish before they get home.
Whenever I`m sad, you`re there. Whenever I`m having problems, you`re always there. Whenever my life seems out of control, you`re always there. Lets face it. You`re bad luck.
When your wife`s in labour, never sneak a look at the business end; it`s like watching your favourite pub burn down.
Perfect has 7 letters and so does meeeeee ....Coincidence? I think not.
Just saw a coyote next to the highway. I hope this tunnel ahead isn`t just painted on.
I have no time for stupid people But they sure seem to have time for me.
I`m not saying we should kill all the incompetent people. I`m simply suggesting we remove all the warning labels and let the problem sort itself out.
If it wasn’t for profanity, I wouldn’t be a pro at anything.
I used to be a kleptomaniac but now I take something for it.
It`s funny how many people I have in my phones contact list who all have the same name Do Not Answer.
I lifted my hands up in the air and waved them like I just didn`t care.....Ceiling fan: 6 Me: 0
Pizza will never tell you you`re fat unless you`re high as sh!t, then pizza is probably suggesting you fight an aardvark to lose weight.
You know what’s funny? Lots of sh!t so lighten the f*ck up.