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"I`m on my way." -People who haven`t even left the house yet.
Life can be like Chess sometimes. I don`t know how to play Chess.
My tombstone will read I should have googled it first.
"No comment" - said no woman, ever
Social Media Awkwardness: When people "like" a relationship status of being single by your ex instead of yours.
If you go shopping at Walmart and no one stares at you as you walk by, you`re one of them.
If I ask my dad to take a picture of me with my phone there is a 99% chance it will be a video of me yelling "It`s the button on the left!"
Sometimes I run toward people & expect them to know that I want them to do the Dirty Dancing lift but they never know and I slam into them.
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
A slutty girl is like the first slice of bread in a loaf. Everybody touches it but nobody wants it.
You made several good points, and I understand that you are right, but the way you said it was so douchey I have to take an opposite stance.
I always clench up before I drive into a tunnel because I`m afraid Wile E. Coyote might have just drawn it on there.
Parenting is a lot like the bar scene: Everyone`s yelling, everything`s sticky, it`s the same music over and over again and occasionally someone pukes somewhere they
Love your enemies; after all, you made them!
Is there any way to really know how many camouflage shirts are in your house?