Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
They say the camera adds 10lbs. Stop eating cameras!
Its real cute how pedestrians confuse “right of way” with immortality.
That "No alcohol beyond this point." sign might as well say "I bet you can´t chug that whole beer!"
’twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, everyone was screaming ... cuz I went into the wrong house.
I`ve got my wise-ass in my smartypants so I`m ready for anything!
OMG!! IT`S MONDAY ... What the f*ck do you think comes after Sunday, Sunday JR. ?
Just when I think my confidence couldn`t be shakier, some shitty website tells me I have a "Weak Password"
I get so tired of the same old BS...can´t I get a little BS variety?
I’m not high maintenance, but rather precious cargo with lavish instruction for upkeep.
Some people are like eye-candy... I`m more like eye-meatloaf.
It`s a humbling moment when you realize your dog or cat has actually trained you to do something.
The phrase "use of the jerk-off motion is prohibited" has been added to our HR manual because of me. It`s like winning an award.
That urge you get to write "No one gives a sh!t" on someone`s status..
Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I hear is “I know where you can buy drugs"
Is your drama going to have an intermission soon? I need to pee.