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My resolution last year was to learn Spanish, and that only lasted about dos weekos.
How the hell do you call Batman during the day?
I’m probably single because I forgot to forward those chain messages from 2008.
If there are ice cream trucks in the summer, why aren’t there Starbucks pumpkin spice latte trucks in the winter?
I wish some people`s cardio exercise consisted of running into traffic.
Looking back.. I think I preferred you when I didn`t know you...
Some of these Giraffe profile pictures are a vast improvement.
If I dont clean my house soon. They are gonna bring in blindfolded people to do a Febreze commercial
I`m back in the HR office today. In my defense my coworker very plainly said "stick a fork in me, I`m done"
I finally did it. I gave my cat a bath today. It really wasn`t that bad. She enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. Other than the fur sticking to the roof of my mouth, it went well.
FYI, Target does not give prizes, no matter how many bullseyes you hit in the store with a paintball gun
I read that taking a long, hot bath can help with managing stress. Unfortunately my boss doesn`t approve.
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
Ya know what I really hate about mornings? People start talking to me!
When I`m cleaning my room, 1% cleaning 29% moaning 70% playing with stuff I just found.