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in 2014 there were times when I annoyed you, disturbed you, irritated you and bugged the hell out of you. Today i wanna let you know that i planned to continue with it this year :-)
I started seeing this girl recently. She sometimes texts. Sometimes Whatsapps. Sometimes she emails. Sometimes she Facebooks. Im getting mixed messages.
thinks that decaffeinated coffee is just useless brown water.
I`m not an alcoholic I just have a lot of things to celebrate.
Going to one of those places where you chop down your own Christmas tree, and then try to get away before they catch you.
Sometimes I meow back at cats.
My bank balance is a constant reminder that I`m safe from identity theft
This status is mine....I licked it.
If you ever want to know what you look like to the world, don’t look in a mirror, have a child draw you.
Hugh Hefner dead at age 91. With the amount of Viagra that guy must have been taking, good luck closing that casket lid.
Why can`t everyday be football Sunday?
No, I don`t need a Fitbit. I can count to 45 by myself.
My wife asked me to load the dishwasher. So I poured her some shots and told her to start drinking. And that`s how the fight started.
Whenever somebody is murdered, the 1st person the police investigae is the spouse. That should tell you all you need to know about marriage.
You call it reckless driving, I call it searching for my lighter.