Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Note To Self: Even if someone really needs it, strangling them is still illegal.
Dumped my multiple personality girlfriend yesterday. She took it well, not so well, and she was really upset...
Have you ever woke up pissed at someone because of something they did in your dream?
I love to start my day by getting on Facebook to see who is a whiny little bi!ch today.
If you ask me, every Friday is a Good Friday.
Gift cards: The best way to say "Here, you figure it out..."
You`re never too old to learn stupid sh!t
It`s all good and well until the fecal matter impacts the electric powered air current generation device.....
How many people actually tell everyone that you said Hi.
I get as much action as a white crayon.
People should have to pass an IQ test to use the self-checkout section.
I google myself sometimes just to know what the hell I`m up to. ;)
Have you ever realized that sleeping is just your eyes staring at your eyelids all night long?
A book fell on my head, I can only blame my shelf.
I wake up everyday planning to be productive. Then a voice in my head says, " hahaa, good one!" Then we laugh and laugh and take a nap.