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We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
Let´s drink tequila till you don´t remember what I suggest next..
Apparently when my math teacher asked `what comes after 69` "I DO" was not the correct answer.
Doctor: How is your headache? Me: She is fine.
"My name is Robert and I support apples." -- Bob for apples
I`ve been holding my stomach in for 3 years now so don`t talk to me about dedication!
We all need that special person in our lives that makes it worth while to shave our pubes.
Drinking coffee is a fun way to become dependent on paying money to wake up.
I look so young for my rage.
Next time a guy says he wants to fight you, just say "not in that outfit!" and roller skate away
If I had three wishes, I`d use one for boobs. Because I`m pretty sure I could get everything else that I wanted if I had boobs.
I just googled Magnum condoms and I swear I could hear Siri laughing.
I just wanna find a girl who loves me for my money. That way I wouldn`t feel bad for loving her for her body.
Keep up the good work, people who make free porn available.
They say love is in every corner… Then my life must be a freakin’ circle.