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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have 5 fingers, the middle one is for you.
I`m not mature enough to be in a yoga class.
ATM is telling me I have insufficient funds. Worst part is I was just walking by minding my own business.
There’s always that one person that catches you doing something weird.
I found a spider in my shoe. He looks ridiculous, they`re way too big for him.
I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.
I will give you unconditional love as soon as you meet my list of demands.
WHEW! I just had a near-work experience.
The only hunger games i care about involve plastic hippos.
I am Looking for a Bank which can offer me these Two Services..... .Give me a Loan & then Leave me aLone. :)
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance... The five stages of waking up.
Sometimes you run into people who just make your day more bearable. Those people are called bartenders.
I`ve accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster.
Saw A bumper sticker that said "Fat People Are Harder To Kidnap" not sure if he was a proud fat man or a disgruntled kidnapper though.
If only losing weight was as easy as losing my cell phone, my keys, my temper, or even my mind ... I`d be SO skinny!