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If you see anything posted from me that involves something normal or appropriate, it is not me. I believe I`ve been hacked.
The easiest way to get over someone is with a steamroller.
I`ve taken my kids all over the country, but their favorite place to be is still "in the way."
Technology is outpacing my ability to come up with convincing lies that I didn`t get your message.
I just don`t have enough middle fingers for today.
If God is a woman then how do you explain: 1) Spiders 2) Shoes you can`t afford 3) Periods 4) Men
I am convinced that Kellogg`s works for our Government and all that Snap, Crackle, Pop is CODE.......
Is it just me or do mirrors look really sexy?
Sometimes I wish people would just bring donuts to work instead of drama.
The reason swans mate for life is because they don`t talk.
Jingle bells johnny smells, amelia ruled the show, frankies okay, marcus is gay, little mix all the way.. HAY !!!
On the plus side of 2017, the use of the words `awesomesauce` and `amazeballs` were at an all time low.
To settle an argument, think about why you are wrong and why she has boobs.
If you love something, set it free. Maybe not dogs with rabies though. Or killer bees or pretty much any domesticated animal into the wild. Lots of stuff really. Look, the point is don`t love anything.
I danced like no one was watching but someone was watching, thought I was having a seizure and called an ambulance