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The only thing I`m really learning from this 401K meeting at work this morning is that I`ll probably never be able to retire.
What I learned from Titanic was that you need to have sex as soon as possilble with the person you like cause you never know what might happen.
Look up from your phone… There’s some life going on around you.
I hate buying feminine products! How am I supposed to know if this is the right kind of broom or not?
Life is full of disappointments, I`ll just add you to the list.
“A body at rest tends to stay at rest” should be an acceptable excuse for missing work.
Spinning in circles to get dizzy as a child was my first attempt at getting high.
I never make plans until I know how I am getting out of them.
I just ate what I thought was a feta cheese crumble from my salad off my shirt. Turns out it was deodorant. So how`s your day going?
should probably get my daily dose of calcium.. white russians it is
How can I go to sleep when this movie I’ve seen 70 times just started?
What idiot called it a contraction and not a birthquake?
The internet has made me so ADD. Started off googling "how to replace a timing belt" ended up watching a video on how to milk a camel.
Just dropped off some film to be processed. More on this story as it develops.
Leave the past behind. Smile every day. Never wear underwear. I don`t know. Inspirational post are hard.