Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I would like to think that I`ll die heroic death saving someone`s life but it`s more likely I`ll trip over my shoelaces and choke on a spoonful of Nutella.
I wouldn`t mind being alone with my thoughts, if I didn`t know them all so well.
It`s been few days since I heard from the voices in my head, I think it`s the calm before the storm. Some big sh!t is gonna go down!!
Yes we`re friends on facebook but that`s where it ends, stop trying to talk to me in real life... mom
Sometimes I wanna comment on a photo on Facebook but then I don`t wanna have to explain why I`m in your `Random Party Pics 08` album at 4am.
I love my friends unconditionally.* *Certain terms and conditions may apply. May not be available on all days. Coverage not available in all locations.Offer good for 30 days.Requires two-year minimum agreement. Fees applied for activation and early termination.
If you think the things I say out loud are bad, you should hear the things I keep to myself.
No way the guy from Operation is insured for any of those ridiculous medical procedures.
Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
Male or female, no one f*cks with you if you put your lipstick on like The Joker.
F is for friends who do stuff without you.
Teacher: Have a seat! Student: Thanks! *picks up the chair and leaves* -- (°_°)
i hate that the sun comes up so early
This book on marriage says treat your wife like you treated her on the first date, so after dinner tonight I am dropping her off at her parents` house
I don`t like people who hate certain group of people. But I get along very well with people who hate everybody equally.