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If the planet is 4 billion plus yrs old. Is 2017 really the correct new year.
It may not look like it, but I`m actually very handsome.
Chuck E. Cheese is just a casino for little kids.
Marriage tip: Don`t
My face is a 4, my personality is a 6, so basically, I`m a 10.
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you’re on.
What are nuts on a wall? Walnuts. What are nuts on the chest? Chestnuts. What are nuts against a chin? Blow job.
Any time that I see someone wearing crocs, I assume they lost a bet.
Likes doing tokyo drifts with the shopping carts when I round the corner of each isle at Walmart.
I`m tough and can take whatever life throws at me ... Especially if its dipped in chocolate first.
When your running down the street on fire, people will get out of your way
If guys had periods, they´d brag about the size of their tampons.
If you added up all the time you waste on Facebook, think how much TV you could watch.
I get very competitive at "All You Can Eat Buffets."
All these years and I still don`t understand why they didn`t put Kevin Bacon in Grease.