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To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present....They are due back at the library today.
I`m one more bottle of wine away from starting a blog.
Good to know that if they ever release a lion in Walmart you only have to run faster than the fat lady with the zebra print pants on.
His idea of cleanliness is sweeping the room with a glance.
loves driving down the road and just waving at random people like you know them!:D
At work, sometimes I secretly brew decaf coffee in the normal pot so that everyone else works at my pace.
I like how Sesame Street just casually has a vampire hanging around.
I don’t care if we don’t talk, your existence still pisses me off.
I want my tombstone to say "It didn`t make me stronger."
I watched my first porn movie today. I looked so much younger back then.
I wish I was as skinny as I was the first time I thought I was fat.
"Wow! That Lean Cuisine really filled me up!" ... said no one, ever.
Anyone else find it odd that on Star Trek, when they "boldly go where no one has gone before" they always end up meeting someone?
I went somewhere earlier and saw a frog parked illegally and the poor thing got toad!!
Ugh... Seriously? If I get ONE more sexual advance on facebook, that will be.. like... a first.