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You say stalker. I say unpaid private investigator.
Just googled "who gives a sh!t?" My name wasn`t in the search results.
I`ve always pictured myself taking selfies.
I was in NYC and a black guy asked me if the Yankees won to which I replied, "Yeah, man, you`re free."
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
She deleted and blocked me so I guess you can say we`re taking it slow now.
Don’t confuse my personality with my attitude. My personality is who I am. My attitude depends on who you are.
I got in touch with my musculine side today - laying on the couch all day, eating gross food, playing games...
REMEMBER: If you start to hear banjos, get the hell outta there!
It bothers me when I see tax money wasted on signs telling deer where to cross the road.
I have always wanted to start a brand of Christian themed lollipops and call them Catho-licks.
You want to see Americans become activists? Cancel a TV show they like.
Pizza doesn’t ask questions. Pizza understands.
If 3 people have sex, it`s called a 3-some. If 2 people have sex, it`s called a 2-some. I guess we now know why they call you HAND-some.
My dog is eating. I`m sitting next to her, staring intently at her, making her obviously uncomfortable. Yeah, how`s THAT feel, mutt?