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"No comment" - said no woman, ever
Every year new words are added onto the dictionary, yet no new positions are added to the karma sutra.
TV needs to stop putting up those stupid “viewer discretion” warnings. My mom is sick of me calling her for clearance.
It’s all fun and games until they reply to your text with a phone call.
All these people are talking about finding Jesus, finding love, finding themselves... I`m like I found 63 cents and four Fritos in the couch!
I`m not judging you, I`m just trying to guess what medications you`re on.
It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.
I bet my church never imagined it was even possible to twerk to Amazing Grace.
I slept and woke up. (ok, lately this has become a major accomplishment in my life)
Tampon commercials create an unrealistic expectation of how much fun it is to be around menstruating women.
You fake your smile daily, then judge people for getting a fake tan.
Why can`t someone look at me the same way I look at pizza?
You know you`re an alcoholic when the only Holiday cards that you get are from your neighborhood pubs.
Check this one out.........1
I’m jealous of a book character for having sex with another character but sure come ask my advice about your marriage.