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I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters.. do they just give you a bra and say, "here fill this out"..?
I don`t know why you put your boat in Sh!t Creek to begin with.
I`ll be thankful when this thankful month is over.
Pro tip: The kids run around a little longer if you forget to hide the eggs
There`s no time like the present to make a positive change in your life ... or to take a nice nap
You’d think with as much time women spend looking at their ass in the mirror, they would be able to reverse into a parking spot.
The word “fireplace” really reveals the creativity of our ancestors
If it’s the thought that counts, then I should probably be in jail…
I`m off to get my beauty sleep. Yeah, I know...I`m already so beautiful you can`t stand it! I promise...a little more isn`t lethal...yet! ;) Goodnight!
People pay to sponsor animals in the wild and get pic updates on it. Well if anyone would like to sponsor me I will send you a selfie a day.
If you can’t be a good example, then you’l just have to serve as a horrible warning
Due to the rise in the economy, the position 69 will now be 96, due to the higher cost of eating out.
Anyone going to stare at their phones anywhere cool this weekend?
Cologne - because people shouldn`t have a choice whether or not they want to smell you.
“Nothing is impossible.” I disagree. I’m doing nothing right now… it’s totally possible.