Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Honey, your haters are imaginary. No one wants to be you. I promise.
this one time I was in a bush, and this squirrel was like hey, and I was like hey you can`t talk to me your a squirrel and he was like yea I know lmao
A gentle reminder about Daylight Savings Time: If you thought last Monday sucked, this one will prove to be much, much worse.
A drunk man walks into a bar...but enough about me...
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell, well he actually told me to eat "less McDonalds" but I`m pretty sure I know what he meant.
Last week a 13-year-old girl became the youngest female to climb Mount Everest. She didn’t mean to. She was just texting her friend and the next thing she knew she was on top of Mount Everest.
If you want to give me dirty looks for being at the liquor store at 9am, don`t be open.
I’ve been really depressed these past few days. Finally visited a therapist and got diagnosed. Turns out, I’m poor.
u cant spell awesome without me
Underachieving Sunday through Wednesday, overachieving Thursday through Saturday.
My wife treats me like a God…She takes very little notice of my existence until she wants something.
Been reading up on the thesaurus lately because a mind is a terrible thing to garbage.
The sun and I have an understanding. He gets up before I do.
You know you are in the hood when your portable GPS says “Drive faster and put me under the seat.”