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What a rip-off. I picked up a book called 101 Mating Positions. It turned out to be a book on chess.
What kind of paperwork do I need to fill out to get a permit to set my children free in the wild?
I suffer from paranoia and procrastination. Everyone is out to get me, just not right now.
There`s no better reminder to visit your dentist than a trip to Walmart.
What`s a burnt pizza, frozen beer, & a pregnant girl have in common? In each scenario, there`s a dumb guy who didn`t take it out in time.
I do 5 sit-ups every morning. No, it doesn`t sound like much, but there`s only so many times you can press the snooze button.
yo fellas how did that "wow" comment you left on that girls facebook picture play out
Legos are practice for when you get older & buy Ikea furniture
Was late to my first Fight Club last night so missed the intro rules. Still, Fight Club was brilliant and I`d highly recommend Fight Club.
I tried to open a can of WhoopAss,, but it popped like a can of biscuits and scared me.
How much is appropriate to tip the police officer who opens the squad car door for you?
If a Donkey and Zebra ever mate they`d have to call the offspring a Zonkey because Debra is already taken.
I need to stop lying to myself ... This bag of Reese cups will never make it to Halloween
Never change. Unless you’re an a$$hole. Then you should probably change a little.
The best part about pooping with the bathroom door open in the morning is being able to see everyones face at Starbucks.