Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I put the pro in inappropriate.
If you watch Intervention backwards, it`s about a person partying hard after an awful family reunion.
Dad, I love how we don`t even have to say out loud that I`m your favorite. Happy Fathers Day!
β€œHi I’m an evil ghost with the ability to defy time & space, but I think the best example of my powers will be to slightly close this door.”
A cool thing about being in a relationship is that when you make a mistake you get to hear about it over and over.
Sometimes I take a bath because it’s hard to drink wine in the shower.
I said I was good at making decisions. I didn`t say the decisions I made were good.
Is somebody not editing what IΒ΄m saying here???
I can read Spanish, Chinese, Russian and Italian. As long as it`s written in english.
Don`t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.
I`ve got big plans for the weekend. If things go well, come Monday morning I`m gonna need a chiropractor, a psychiatrist, a priest and bail money.
Sometimes I zone out and forget what I’m supposed to be doing, and then I remember and take a drink of my beer.
When I was a kid...no wait, I still do that.
Benefits of hooking up with me: You will be hooking up with me. I could go on but I think I made my point.
I`m great at balloon animals. You should see my eel, snake, and worm.