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WebMD needs to add the question "Have you eaten Taco Bell today?" when asking about stomach-related symptoms.
Just for kicks I posted "I won the LOTTERY" on Facebook. One girl liked it, then replied to the inbox message I sent her in 2010. *Blocked*
Hurricane preparedness tip: 1. Buy several kegs of beer 2. Drink beer 3. Wait for flooding 4. Drop kegs in water 5. Float to safety....
New kitchen game: `Fridge and Cupboard Tetris`- Putting the possibility of being pummeled by a food avalanche on a whole new level of adventure.
Warranty β A notice telling the buyer when the product that was just purchased will no longer function.
Did you know, the designated driver is usually the guy having the most luck with the ladies.
1, 2 FreddieΒ΄s coming for u 3, 4 better lock the door 5, 6 grab your crucifix 7, 8 gotta say up late 9, 10 never sleep again
Awww, look. My middle finger likes you!
Exercise makes you look and feel better naked ... But, so does Tequila
Do feminists look under their beds for the boogie woman?
This girl is ignoring me like a check engine light.
Telling people your phone is gonna die, But you really just donβt want to text them.
I have many talents... For example: Sleeping.
I`m not feeling myself today..... Perhaps I should feel someone else.
Why does the person who snores always fall asleep first?