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If you see someone wearing camouflage, make sure to walk right into them so they know it`s working.
Sometimes I say stuff without even meaning to be funny and I`m like "Man, my subconsicious is hilarious!"
Bigger isn`t always better. Thighs, for example.
Wow! it`s late.. I need to hit the sack........ Then go to bed.
If I throw a stick will you leave?
If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said bet you can`t hit me with a quarter!
On the Internet you can be anything you want ... It`s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.
At the end of the day, life should ask us, Do you want to save the changes?
If you have no internet history you silently admit wrong doing.
Nobody really dates anymore. You just make eye contact, text, hang out, and next thing you know all her clothes are in your closet....
Hate it when I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket and it’s not even in there.
Never underestimate the power of the web. -Charlotte
The first 5 days after the weekend are always the hardest....
once again Tequila is the Delete History button of my brain.