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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Doing nothing is very hard to do, you never know when your finished.
Why am I single? Answer me. . . ANSWER ME YOU STUPID CATS!!!
That must have been a heck of a party judging by the police reports.
Just rescued a Coca Cola that was trapped in the fridge!
Pretend it`s a beer pretend it`s a beer pretend it`s a beer pretend it`s a beer pretend it`s a beer.....me trying not to drop a child
McDonald’s Management Rule #23: β€œThe employee with the most severe accent or speech impediment must work the drive-thru at all times.”
I spent 2 hours cleaning this kitchen. Mess it up and I will cut you! ... Love MOM
My husband and I are having a serious fight. Do you think I should let him know about it?
My GPS says "time of arrival" ... I see "time to beat."
The skinny girl inside me once tried to come out. I shut that b*tch up with a cupcake
Another funny thing about this status is when you finally realize that it talks about nothing? its all ready too late to stop reading. lol
A model citizen is just like a regular citizen that doesn`t eat.
F*ck you, regular cars that look like police cars. Also vice versa.
No one will ever look at you the way I do ... But thats probably because no one will ever do it from the tree outside your window