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Your family tree has a couple of coconuts
Just vacuumed for the first time in a really long time and apparently I have hardwood floors?
I thought I was on the cash cab show! But turns out I was in a police car and cops hate trivia.
Just once I’d like to see someone dropkick the guy grinning and waving behind the news reporter.
My wife thinks I`m at work. My boss thinks I`m home sick. These ducks think I`m awesome because I have the bread.
stupidity is a privelege entitled to everyone but you my dear are abusing this right
If your friends don`t make fun of you, they`re not really your friends.
I can`t wait to get all liquored up, and then go door-to-door to sing some Christmas Carols when it starts to warm up in April...
Whoever said "sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you" has obviously never been hit with a dictionary.
Why is there a show called "When animals attack"? It should be called "When stupid people go near dangerous animals."
I`m going to switch my car insurance from Geico to Allstate, then to Statefarm, then back to Geico. If my calculations are correct, they should owe me $837
Well, Thanks to SAMSUNG, flat screens are no longer `Flat`.
Why don`t family members send me money for my birthday anymore? I need it now more than when I was 7
Sometimes I wish my dog could talk…then I remember all the things he has seen me do when I’m alone.
Wrestling is obviously fake. Why would two people fight over a belt when neither of them are wearing pants?