Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How come know-it-alls, don`t know how annoying they are?
On my tombstone I want it to say: ‘I didn’t forward the text message to 15 friends.” ;)
Five years ago my boss asked me where I wanted to be in five years. I finally know the answer: Not Here
When girls have a great night out, they talk about it for months. When guys have a great night out, that night will never be spoken of.
So it`s racist to call a team Redskins but it`s okay to call a restaurant Cracker Barrel ?
I heard Disney bought and are relocating the White House to Disneyland. They Say, it will be the new Center Piece of FANTASY LAND.
Why don`t we wait for life on other planets to find us? Why do we have to do all the work?
Who cares how I got inside your house. What matters is that we`re together now.
GIRLS: To make a guy panic, simply ask, " Notice anything different?`... works EVERY time
Maybe it`s inappropriate for the first date but if there`s a maze on the menu I`m asking for crayons.
A new study suggests that a future study will completely contradict this study.
My wife went home to visit her mother today. Or as I refer to it. Her “bitch refresher course”.
I thought she would duck officer- me checking the psychic`s ability
Wine improves with age. I improve with wine.
I snuck popcorn into the movie theatre but they won`t let me use their microwave.