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I may look like I`m doing nothing, but in my head I`m quite busy.
Apparently when you donate blood, it has to be "YOUR" blood.
eBay sellers - just because you`ve dug your suit/dress out of the back of your wardrobe doesn`t make it vintage. #JustOldAndSmelly
Wishing you a fabulous 2014 that is full of great achievements and experiences. A meaningful chapter waiting to be written HAPPY NEW YEAR!
There are only two types of honest people in this world, small children and drunk people.
I finally figured out why men love belly rings so much on their women. It reminds them of the staple in the middle of their porn magazines!
AOL has been hacked. Users have also been asked to check their Atari settings for possible compromise.
Ever met a boring and stable girl who was good in bed? Exactly.
I’ve never pretended to be anything I’m not…except for sober. I’ve pretended to be sober a few times.
Would it be wrong to ask a one-eyed person if it really was "all fun and games" up to that point?
I think my “check engine” light has finally burned out. So that’s good.
Peeing in the sink is a great time saver: no lifting the seat, no flush, sink is right there to wash hands jk I don`t wash my hands.
Stop procrastinating. Join Hokey Pokey Anonymous today and turn that life around!
Vodka can be mixed with anything, including more vodka.
1) Second. 2) Minute. 3) Hour. 4) Day. 5) Week. 6) Month. 7) Year. 8) Decade. 9) Century. 10) Millennium. 11) Women buying clothes.