Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Wanted: Someone to hand feed me Cheetos so my fingers don`t get orange..... P.S. No weirdos.
I`ve single handedly defeated my erection.
Man, those 2013 Mayan Calenders are REALLY hard to find...
I wish I could have the Price Is Right audience around whenever I’m making important life decisions.
Engineers: "okay, so we agree the space between the seat and the console will allow people to see what they dropped but never retrieve it"
Well after 6 months of my girlfriend nagging, I finally did it, I lost 120lbs ... I`m sure gonna miss her.
omg I just found out I`m allergic to exercise...at first I get all flushed, then I break out in a sweat, my heart starts pounding really fast, then I cant breath........i wont be doing that again!
Every-time I walk over a sewer grate I look down into it hoping to catch a glimpse of a Ninja Turtle
99.9% of lol’s are lies.
Shout out to all the girls who don`t have to dress half naked to get a mans attention. Stay classy! And the rest of you come with me.
Facebook keeps telling me people are following me. But, every time I look behide me there`s nobody there? Why does facebook keep lying to me?
Sorry a remote fell out when you took off my bra
Don`t understand how people in depression commercials can be sad with how attractive they are.
My 5 year old set up the lemonade stand all by himself and, while I`m proud of him, I doubt he`ll make a lot of sales in the backyard.
I procrastinate so much I’ll probably put off death and never die.