Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
All women are bad for me. At least that`s what my wife says.
Singing passionately in the shower: Pretty good idea. Dancing passionately in the shower: Not so much.
Tire rotation? Nice try, mechanic! I rotated my tires like a thousand times on the drive over here.
I don’t repeat gossip, so listen carefully
It takes two people to lie....one to lie.....the other to listen
cavemen were posting on walls before it was cool
I decided I really need to read more. I watch way to much TV ... So I turned on the subtitles.
I love the phrase "boobie trapped" I mean, who doesn`t like to be trapped by boobies????
No, whenever there`s trouble, YOU always seem to be around ... officer.
Once you have to start paying a babysitter every time you go out, you realize most friendships aren`t worth it.
It`s so awkward when you get texted to come over and you have to pretend like you weren`t already inside their house.
The more I get to know you, the more I`m convinced that you are the sole inspiration behind many medications.
That moment when you have so many things to do...So you decide to take a nap instead!
I find myself highly addicted to books as of late. Once I start coloring the first few pages I can`t stop....
There`s not much more gratifying than seeing a chick who thinks she`s super hot trip on her high heels.