Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I’ve had no formal martial arts training, but I know for a fact the Power Rangers are wasting too much energy on unnecessary summersaults
Laundry is like sex in reverse: you drop in a load, everything gets wet, then rolls around and ends up dry and neatly folded.
It is amazing how a nice pair of boobs can hide serious flaws and signs of mental illness until after you marry them!
Do bees even have knees?
I wonder how many people die each year from lifeguards running in slow motion?
My hobbies include trying to close the elevator door before someone else gets on.
Coffee keeps me busy until it`s time to be drunk.
I`m always on the verge of running three miles, or drinking a bottle of Vodka
I can`t be the only one who thinks "Game on, mother f*cker" when I see an air freshner in a bathroom.
I ordered some bubble wrap online. It arrived in a box surrounded by packing peanuts.
I once wrestled an anaconda for 4 straight hours... Then I realized I was just masturbating.
Thinking " What would happen if the whole world farted at once and a person lit a lighter?"
Water is the most essential element of life, because without water, you can`t make coffee.
Not sure if I logged into Facebook or the Cartoon Network.
Trying to master the art of eating a powdered donut without looking like I just left Charlie Sheen`s house.