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If Facebook was school I swear we would all have perfect attendance.
Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. Im pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
Thinks that thinking about thoughts of thinking are too thinkable for thoughts to be thought about thinking, I think.
Screw Folgers, the best part of waking up is knowing I survived last night`s drinking.
So, all theses years I thought it was the dyer making my shirts not fit. now I`m pretty sure it the refrigerator.
I tried being awesome today, but I was just so tired from being awesome yesterday.
If you can`t fix it with duct tape or beer ... it ain`t worth fixin`
That must have been a heck of a party judging by the police reports.
Some people are just bad news!!! Those are my favorite!
My wife was out of town, so I had to run the morning routine by myself today. I learned a lot. For example, apparently I have two kids.
Today I caught myself thinking of you and smiling... but it was because you had a booger in your nose the last time I saw you.
Do strippers have nightmares where they are in front of a large crowd with their clothes on?
My therapist doesn`t believe in werewolves so I left my last session with more problems than when I arrived.
There are many different ways one can save energy. I normally use the couch.
Things ain`t nobody got time for: That