Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I wish my kids came with a handbook.... Hardcover, preferably. So I have something to hit them with.
Why fart and waste it, when you can burp and taste it
One out of every 4 Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they´re okay, then it´s you.
This "doing nothing" is hard work, how am I supposed to know when I`m done?
Saying you like one political party over another, is like saying one filthy whore is prettier than the other filthy whore.
99% of people are stupid. Luckily, I`m part of the other 3%.
According to the 19 citations I got for trespassing and peeping, "neighborhood watch" isn`t what I thought it was.
As i get older i realize I do a LOT more YOGA...attempting to tie my shoelaces
If you ever hit rock bottom, bring some beer. I`m almost out.
Just once I want to see a car with one woman sticker and twelve cat stickers.
I believe in equality. If we have a 5 day week of work, we should have 5 day weekends as well dammit.
When people see ghosts, why aren`t they naked? Do clothes die and become ghosts too?
Sometimes, I think I`m a genius. Then I realize I`ve already seen this episode of Jeopardy.
We are hosting a charity concert for people who struggle to reach orgasm. If you can’t come, let me know.
ever wonder if one day somebody will come knocking on your door and say “Hey we have 7 mutual friends on Facebook, can I come in?"