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Can`t wait for Daylight Saving Time to end this weekend so the clock in my car will have the correct time.
They say money can`t buy you happiness, but I`ve got a receipt from the liquor store telling a whole different story.
Sure, Men love funny women. As long as they are pretty...and skinny...and they have a great pair of knockers!!
I don´t like to think of myself as "Special"... I think I would call me a limited edition.
If you can’t afford to go on vacation, you can always drink until you don’t know where you are!
Synonym: Word used in place of the one you can`t spell.
I don`t like country music, but I don`t mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means `put down`.
Hey dumb a$$. Not everything I post pertains to you. Just the stuff that starts with Hey dumb a$$.
There should be an observation deck at Walmart.
I broke up with my gym, we were just not working out.
Yelling "give me back my panties, you pervert" at joggers is a surprisingly effective way of encouraging them to run faster.
You could pleasure me just by walking away.
Why would a married man buy a hearing aid?
Tieam... problem solved
There`s not much more gratifying than seeing a chick who thinks she`s super hot trip on her high heels.