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I just got the results of my IQ test. It came back negative.
I`m pretty sure some of you just drag your face across the keyboard and hit send.
Maybe my goal was to be a 35 year old loser on the Internet ... You don`t know.
Why do cops ask us why we think they pulled us over? It`s their job. I dont go to the station and ask why they think I created a powerpoint.
Anyone says their wedding day was the best day of their lives has obviously never had 2 candy bars fall down at once from a vending machine
Well it`s about time I get in line for that Star Wars movie
"I’m not drunk!” is an argument only very drunk people think they can win
I remember when going viral meant having to tell several people they better get tested.
why would i ever pay to go to a nascar event when i could get drunk beside the interstate and cheer for cars for free
To-Do List : Nothing[?]
Don’t let anyone push you around. Unless it’s in a wagon because that might actually be fun.
It’s funny how “You’re so funny” turns into “You think everything’s a f*cking joke” in just 3 months…
The number of red lights you will hit while driving are directly proportional to how bad you have to pee.
Why don`t they make Neapolitan ice cream but with 3 better flavors?
So apparently, all you can eat buffets do not include the waitresses...