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Got caught up in a really good book last night. I didn`t stop coloring till 2 o`clock this morning.
Attempting to guilt me in to doing something, is the surest way to make sure it never happens.
Ladies, when it comes to stalking, I`m 100% behind you.
Did you know that if you light a candle under the moonlight and you say 3 times the name of the person you love, you will look really stupid doing that!
If there were "Box Tops for Education" on cases of beer, my kid`s school would be rich.
I’m glad we can’t smell each other through the internet.
Why do sandwiches taste so much better when they are cut diagonally?
You say you don`t need to drink to have fun. All I`m hearing is designated driver.
Glad McDonald`s don`t serve hotdogs, I don`t think I could order a McWeiner with a straight face.
"2, 4, 6, 8!! Ride my face let`s fornicate!!!" And with that, HR banished me from all future employee picnics.
Some days the only thought that stops me from being Dexter...is that I am WAY too pretty to go to prison
Wine improves with age. I improve with wine.
We are living in a generation where Vampires are sparkly,Werevolves are gay and Witches wear leather pants.
If you pour two beers in one glass, it`s just one beer.
You call it Sushi, I call it bait.