Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you`re going to be a d!ck.. At least be a big one.
I like to respond to statuses with .. WOW, Someone needs a Happy Meal.
"How much for the man cave?" "Sir that`s a doghouse." "Can you install cable?"
If your pillow fort hasn’t got an armory filled with Nerf guns, then you’re not really taking pillow forting as seriously as you should be.
I`m getting older but I still have my moments...though I don`t always remember where I put them
I just want you all to know, whatever problems you might be having, I`m here to `like` them.
I get a little nervous before saying Worcestershire sauce.
If kids are so wonderful why do you have to pay people to watch them?
I roasted a turkey today, but I don`t think he got the jokes.
I spent yesterday painting some kickass flames on a car. I bet whoever owns it was stoked when they came out of the mall.
Free middle fingers for everyone!!!
It`s hard to trust people. Even the blind prefer to be guided by dogs.
There are plenty of fish in the sea ...That`s cool and all....but I`m a human.
Woke up screaming this morning. My apologies to everyone in the meeting.
The sad part about seeing any shopper at Walmart with a blue tooth, is that normally it is that shopper`s only tooth.