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It only takes a second to show a person how much you feel about them. The police call it indecent exposure, but whatever...
You’re the reason I wake up everyday... Just kidding I have a job!!
I hate people that don’t know the difference between “your” and “you’re”. Their so stupid…….
Meal prepping is basically eating a week`s worth of leftovers from a meal that never happened.
I`m not saying your house is haunted, but I think a ghost just ate all of your Gummy Bears while you were in the bathroom.
When I was little my dad had me convinced that the Ice Cream truck only played music when it was sold out. Well played Dad, well played.
Plot twist: WebMD says you`re just thirsty
I would just like to personal thank all the people in my life that have caused me so many problems, for making me the as$ I am today!
Staring longingly at the door works for my dog, but I tried it at work and no one let me out. :(
This coffee would work better if I could throw it at people.
I believe in karma which means I can do bad things to people all day long and just assume they deserve it.
Roses are red and sometimes they`re thorny, when I think of you, I get really ...............
He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
Making good decisions doesn’t really go with my outfit.
I went frisbee golfing today. I didn`t get an ace, but I did hit a guy and that was just as satisfying.