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It´s Friday-O-Clock!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am not bossy, I just know how to do things the right way.
"I got this." Translated: I most certainly do not have this, but prepare to be thoroughly entertained.
DO NOT LIKE THIS… Unless you’re a sexy beast.
You can`t always control who walks in to your life but you can control which window to throw them out.
I have a kid in Africa I inoculate, feed, clothe and send to school for only $1 day. It cost a lot to send him over there though.
It was so cold that when we milk the cows we got ice cream.
I`m ready to regret having sex with you.
First Rule of Camping: Put up the tent before you start drinking.
I need u to do me a favor... Stand in front of my car please... I need to test my brakes :)
I`ve decided!! I’m giving up my New Years resolutions for Lent.
Not all men cheat. Some of you women just assume you’re in a relationship with the guy.
When I die I`m going to go to heaven and God is going to be like nope, remember what you said on Facebook
I robbed a bank yesterday....now the question is, what to do with all that sperm....
The real fountain of youth is to have a dirty mind and a naughty smile.