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Funniest thing ever heard on TV. "Ward, you were a little hard on the Beaver last night"
I’ve been in this McDonald’s restroom for over an hour, waiting for an employee to wash my hands.
If you guys could read my mind! It would be all like; " "
The new neighbors moved in today. I brought them a box of condoms to show how much I don`t want anymore children living on our street.
Anyone else sit on the toilet and play with their phone until you realized you have been finished 10 minutes ago?
I liked you a lot more before I met you.
my phone battery lasts longer than relationships this days !
The only thing worse than a cold toilet seat is a warm one.
If you want funny, get off Facebook and watch the news...
That awkward moment when kids see a toy they want on TV but the can`t get it because their parents must be 18 or older.
Pretty much the most frightening part of my day is when I get a notification that my mother has tagged me in a post on Facebook.
So the Boy Scouts are going to let girls join. Teenage boys and girls camping in the woods together. What could possibly go wrong?
You can only push me so far before I breakdance.
I`ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.!!
Bad decisions make good stories.