Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When I was little we didn`t have emojis. We had to put smiley face stickers on handwritten letters like a bunch of savages.
The only time I`ve ever had a chip on my shoulder was when I tried to dump the entire bag into my mouth at once.
I swear, watching people at a 4-way stop sign is like watching `Night at the Roxbury.` "Him? Me? Oh Me? Me or Him?"
How did the inventor of the clock know what time it was?
The only thing creepier than seeing a guy in a Speedo is seeing a guy in a Speedo staring back at you
You know you`re getting old when speed limits start to seem reasonable to you.
I only call them yoga pants because Netflix and eat leftovers pants was too long.
I saw the city workers putting up a sign on my street and it says Bumpy road ... so I put up a sign that says ,, FIX IT !
Look in the mirror and tell me that God does not have a sense of humor.
I`m tired of things costing money
Is it just me, or is Fantasy Football basically Dungeons & Dragons for jocks?
I was the kid my parents warned me about.
Let’s all agree to stop saying “I read about it somewhere” and admit that we saw it on Law and Order.
I always put a little umbrella in my drink so it doesn`t dilute in the shower.
Jogging with a stroller is great exercise! And hard work for whoever is pushing me.