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If you watch Intervention backwards, it`s about a person partying hard after an awful family reunion.
I swear my cat was an alarm clock in a previous life...
My taste in music ranges from, "You need to listen to this" to "I know, please don`t judge me."
I would go for a jog today, but it looks like all of these cupcakes expire today as well.
Alcohol doesn`t make you fat, it makes you lean..........against tables, chairs, walls, and garbage cans.
According to my fitness app, I ate a 6 mile fruit roll-up.
My favorite thing about working out is the part where I decide not to.
I really hate it when I have to watch the same channel for 2 days because the remote fell behind the couch.
How come we can put a man on the moon but we can`t made a smoke alarm that can differentiate between a house fire and cooking sausages?
I always buy a Get Well Soon card for the couple who invites me to their wedding.
Even hoarders throw their chapstick away if someone else uses it.
Finding out your ex got fat is like finding 20 bucks in your pocket. Not life changing but definitely puts a smile on your face.
why we do not have a romance class...............
All I want is less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done.
I just did a weeks worth of cardio after I walked into a spider`s web.