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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I have many thoughts. I just canΒ΄t remember any of them.
Got a little too much sun today. I knew I should have closed the blinds.
The only Plato I care about is a big Plato spaghetti
I try not to be rude, but some people make it hard work.
I love everyone these days... Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid, and others, I`d love to punch in the face...
Pringles cans should have a twist mechanism like stick deodorant.
WOW! This gym thing is a lot harder than it looked on Instagram.
I`m at the age where an "all-nighter" just means I didn`t have to get up to pee.
A guy at work calls me "Partner" and another guy calls me "Chief". Apparently we`re playing Cowboys and Indians and I`m a double agent.
I`m that friend that you have to explain to people before you introduce me and apologize about afterwards.
I think my problem is that I have really fantastic bad ideas…
It`s a lot easier to chuck a co-worker in the dumpster than it is to listen to his problems.
Just remember, outside of that beautiful slim bride on her wedding day there’s a fat woman just waiting to get in.
Some people say I`m a dreamer, others say, β€œIf you fall asleep at work again you`re fired"
I`ll admit I`m not perfect but what did the horse I rode in on do?