Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Given enough coffee, I could rule the world.
My boss says I intimidate the other employees, so I just stared at him until he apologized
I look forward to paying off all my debt and finally getting back to just being broke.
I give myself the best presents.
Doing absolutely nothing on the weekends has started to feel more fun than actually going out.
I slept like a rock last night, meaning I woke up in the flower bed with the house key under my belly.
One advantage of growing old is you don`t have to worry about hackers stealing your nude pics out of the cloud.
If you don’t like something change it... if you can’t change it....post it on facebook, so we can "like it" and laugh..
No one`s lazier than the guy who came up with the name for Juicy Juice.
Whatever “Estimated Time of Arrival” on the GPS. Challenge accepted.
Not to brag, but my antics at work resulted in several items being added to the employee manual.
There should be an "oh my god, shut up already" button.
When people see ghosts, why aren`t they naked? Do clothes die and become ghosts too?
Constantly losing socks in the laundry but finding change. So logically there has to be a sock fairy.
If I was on drugs, this post would be amazing.