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Opposites attract, that’s the trouble with being awesome.
Why do people with bad breath always have to tell me secrets?
I don`t understand no one has excepted my boiling water challenge
I totally love and fully respect that you`re a little bit slutty
For the record when I was a kid I never wanted to be an adult.
Freak people out in public restrooms by saying “come in” when they knock on the stall door.
If God is a woman then how do you explain: 1) Spiders 2) Shoes you can`t afford 3) Periods 4) Men
At this age, I drive everything like I stole it because sometimes I forget which car is mine.
Neighbors just kicked me out of their shower and called the cops. Some of these pokemon go instructions are confusing. A lot of grey area...
Velcro, what a rip-off!
Wtf neighbor I waved to you last week
My p@nis was in the Guiness Book of Records. Untill the librarian kicked me out
Taking a nap is always so risky like when will I wake up -- In 30 minutes? In 3 hours? In 9 years? No one can ever be sure.
Odd Fact: The names of characters in Inception are: Dom, Robert, Eames, Arthur, Mal and Saito. Note the first letters = DREAMS.
The quality of a good neighbour is not seeing them often.