Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Be friend with stupid people.., feel like genius all the time
I`m not saying not to trust the Internet, but there is an alarming discrepancy between the number of iPads I`ve won and the number of iPads I own.
Please don`t post that political joke you just came up with. . . it really wasn`t that funny to begin with. Thanks for understanding. -the rest of us
Ran out of toilet paper, so I had to use leaves. Just kidding, but my son learned a big lesson about leaving his clothes on the bathroom floor.
The closest I`ve come to being an athlete is using Adobe Acrobat.
Fact: No woman has ever shot a man while he is doing the dishes!
If everybody was consistently as determined as they are when they carry all groceries in one trip, this world would be in a better place.
I hate it when I see some old person and then realize that we went to school together
Next time I go to Hooters I`m ordering milk.
A lot of people don`t know this, but you can quietly like or dislike Obama.
A spider just tried to crawl across my hand and now Googling how to extract a fork from bone without causing more damage.
When a male octopus finds a mate, he rips off his happy place and throws it at the female octopus so she can inseminate herself. Then the male grows a new happy place. If that isn`t the most epic way to tell someone to go $*&# themselves, I don`t know what is!
"it`s the thought that counts" doesn`t include showering. You have to actually do that.
Sometimes I think "Screw this ... I`ll just be a stripper!"
A lot of woman turn into good drivers. So if you`re a good driver, beware of women drivers when their making a turn.