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If you play my day at work backwards, its about an idiot getting less and less annoying
Guys... If the girl your getting down with doesn`t even have time to fake an orgasm..... It`s prob best you just make your sandwich
I don’t just say crazy things on the internet, I do that in real life too.
The home cooked pizza box says to cook the pizza between 14 and 16 minutes. That`s 15 minutes, right? I`m not reading too much into it?
someone told me I am immature and need to grow up ... so guess who is not allowed in my snow fort!!!
The problem with working from home is the absence of sexual harassment.
I used to make fun of my dog for barking at dogs on TV until I caught myself in the car pulling over for a siren on the radio.
If by self-help you mean helping myself to all the liquor in your cabinet... Then yeah... I`m about as self-helpful as they come.
Abaaabbbbaaabbbaabbbaabb..... Long time no ` C ` ; P
I`d like to change and get comfy, yet that requires effort. Ever feel this lazy?
Who named the walkie talkie and why isn`t the vacuum called the pushy sucky?
If the Dollar Store ever starts selling alcohol....drinks are on me.
I don`t have a drinking problem ... I`m just really thirsty.
I just read an article about the dangers of drinking that scared the crap out of me. That`s it. No more reading!
When one door closes another one opens. Or you could just re-open the closed door. Because that’s how doors work.